Bargaining for Body Work

I posted a while back about pricing body work sessions. This issue was brought up again yesterday when someone contacted me via text about an appointment. He got through some basic questions and then asked about price. The conversation went something like this:
Him: How much do you charge?
    Me: $100
Him: Oh.
    Me: …
Him: I’m very good looking.
    Me: My rate is already lower than most people in town.
Him: Even without sex? I’m looking for work and I’m kind of broke.
    Me:  I see. I’m sorry. I wish you luck in looking for a job.

I assume other body workers get such communications, though I’ve never asked directly. I do in fact say on my website that I will offer a reduction to students and active duty military.Those two categories of men have specific stresses that I feel can be helped in a unique way by a session and I feel that a reduction in rate is a service to them. As always, my thought is that body work is a right not a privilege. It should be as available as possible to as many men as possible, while still providing me with the sustenance and worth that I deserve.

And those last points - sustenance and worth - have become more resonant the longer I do this work. Last night, I did have the time for a session after I got home from a meditation group. It really was a question of worth. I can’t really know if this man was in fact broke or if he was just using a line he had used many times before on others to get a reduced rate. (I am not mistrustful by nature, but one must have eyes open as well as heart open… )

I am lucky in that I don’t rely solely on body work to put food on the table; I have more leeway than others. But I do remember from long ago, one of my beloved teachers in Sacred intimacy, Harry Faddis, saying that we must train our clients in certain things. He was referring to scheduling there specifically, but it can be applied here as well. If I had offered this man a lower price, would he have tried to ask for even lower? Would he have come for the session, given me an even lower amount afterwards and said: “That’s all I have?” (I did have this happen once…) If he wanted to come back for a future session would that be a reduced rate too?

For me, avoiding all those uncomfortable possibilities is the best policy. My rate feels like a fair one for both me and clients. I have only raised my rate twice in all the years I have been doing the work and am somewhere between $20 and $50 less per session than comparable others here. In the end, each of us must make the pricing decision on what best represents our vision of the work and needs in life. Good conscious client can decide which of those visions works best for us.

In health and fullness

An unusal lesson that cost $120

I have great respect for bodyworkers of all types. And, in all these years of giving and getting bodywork, I have encountered relatively few people whom I think are patently deceptive or dishonest.

Last week, I booked with a masseur I found on the internet, like so many others. He required a few days notice ( a little unusual, because most people do day-of or next-day) and then a pre-payment. I was a bit unnerved by that, but thought that it wasn't a bad business model, cutting way down on the possibility of a client no-show. It hadn't occurred to me that it could be used as a weapon.

First, the day before the appointment, he said he wasn't feeling well and needed to reschedule. OK. It happens. I have had to do it too. We rescheduled for three days later. Then, three hours before the rescheduled appointment, he texts and says he is getting his tires fixed and that he will need to reschedule again. I ask for my money back (nicely). He says I signed a contract and that there are no refunds. Only then did I call him a scam artist and a small-time conman and block his texts. Then, I get an email threatening me with libel if I leave a bad review on his company site.

I will not hurt because of the lost money. I don't want this event to hang around my space any longer either. I really hate when someone who is supposedly in a helping profession harms potential clients. Feeling the exact opposite of why you go to a bodyworker - groundedness, health, held space, gentleness, healing - is unpleasant.

Below you will see his company page on Facebook and the email he sent.
Please avoid this person. There are so many of us who want to help and make the world a better place.

With best wishes for spring renewal!
Larrty