I’m sure most people in the U.S. either don’t care one way or the other about sex workers and others lumped into that category advertising online, or think it’s good to curtail that activity. The problem is that it is producing an almost McCarthy-like reaction, where website and app owners are so afraid of being arrested that they are tightening the parameters for advertising and even speech more and more.
The app Growlr, a rather free-wheeling dating and hook-up app for men in the “bear” category and their admirers, has a “shout” feature - a one-time paid announcement that goes out to a 5, 10 or 20 mile radius. I have seen it used for community events, healthcare screening, personal sexual activity and massage. I have used it many times for my Sacred Intimate work, using wording that is absolutely non-explicit. The last time I did this, the “shout” did go out, but I got a TOS violation warning from the app, saying that massage ads were no longer acceptable on the app because of issues with the content. Translation: Quit it. We’re not going to jail because of you, even though you’re paying a fee!
Then, yesterday, I went to search for a masseur on masseurfinder.com. That site itself has gotten tighter and tighter with the content and pictures in its ads. Now, there is a single category for masseurs, whereas when I joined there had been three. You can no longer choose a business title for your ad there; they all read: Massage by “X”. And the piece de resistance was the little warning and consent box that came up before you could view your first masseur. It actually made me feel a little sick.
I know that all things go in waves. I really did think, however, that, given the huge cache of knowledge about human sexuality that exists in the world, and the positive impact that this knowledge has had in so many ways, that some shackles were permanently loosened.
I fear I was wrong.
This grip is putting me and my colleagues who are trying to help men (and women) come to better terms with their sexuality and use it as a positive healing force in a very awkward place. I think more and more about entrapment. I see my ability to advertise shrinking.
If you are reading this, I am probably preaching to the choir. But perhaps you can consider the sex-negative, body-shaming, reactionary atmosphere around sexuality coming from places of authority a bit more deeply in hearing how this affects one person directly.
Wishing you and your body freedom and openness!!
