In looking at my postings recently, I realized that I have posted a lot about problems. I do this because they tend to be the more dramatic encounters, physical or virtual, and because I think these difficulties are little discussed, even among those of us who do bodywork. I hope my posting about them will be a support to my Sacred Intimate brothers who may encounter similar clients and also a cautionary tale to future clients, to better understand what happens behind the scenes of my practice.
But, of course I do have wonderful clients. Many of them.
One of these wonderful clients is my most regular one. Aside from being a lovely human being, he is also a very creative one. He is one of the many members of the clergy I have been privileged to work with over the years. These men, because of their backgrounds, understand and relish the ritual possibilities of Sacred Intimate work - how a session can be crafted as a container for a specific inner experience at a specific time. They also seem to have an uncanny knack of creating brilliant playful experiences. I have to think that their being grounded in their bodies helps them serve their congregations in unique and resourceful ways.
I had a surprising and good new client just this afternoon. He had contacted me a few days ago and set up an appointment. Unfortunately, these days, significant advance planning means there's a 50-50 chance of cancellation. He did confirm, however, and showed up on time. He was pleasant but seemed…ummm… skittish. He wanted little conversation ahead of time and asked for what I term a nurturing massage. Throughthe session, he was breathing, there was little evidence of relaxation or pleasure, either from vocalization, increased breathing or body movement.
Little evidence until I got to his perineum and nipples, that is. These areas seemed to unlock his body in a way, not only providing apparent pleasure but also relaxing into deeper breathing. Interestingly, he didn’t want a release. Even though there were not many words exchanged afterwards, the session evidently game him something surprising and good, as he initiated a text conversation about future work later on. In one of these texts, he admitted to having been fearful (what felt to me as skittish). He didn’t specify the reason(s) for his fear, but I assume it is something about the infrequent experience of good touch from a man. I assured him that future sessions would ease that fear and provide for richer exploration, relaxation or understanding.
These clients who relax and open visibly into a session are very rewarding - a good reminder that conscious loving bodywork really does help us be better citizens of the world by inhabiting our bodies more fully.
Wishing you happy and fulfilling embodiment!
